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5 Ways “Real Housewives” Waste Money

by Shawanda Greene

The Real Housewives LogoYou may not know this about me, but I’m a huuuuge fan of Bravo’s Real Housewives.

With the exception of Miami and D.C., I love ‘em all.

The Housewives’ lives are plagued with entertaining ridiculosity when the cameras are rolling and when they’re not. The show is just too good.

In 2006, when The Real Housewives of Orange County, the original installation, was introduced to the world, the economy was doing well. Back then, everyone had the means to conspicuously waste money.

Fast forward a couple years, and things change dramatically. One Housewife gets evicted, another is facing foreclosure, and a friendship ends when a still wealthy Housewife refuses to loan money to her financially struggling friend and cast member.

As fascinating as the Housewives are, they’re terrible with money.

They know how to make it, but are totally clueless on how to keep it. 

Here are five ways Real Housewives waste money.

Alcohol

Tamra throws drink in Jeana's faceThis is a particularly sore spot for me. Y’all know I have a love affair with the drink.

Okay. So here’s what I don’t get. Why are Housewives prone to cocktail-in-your-face fits of violent rage when they’re at an expensive event? An event where mixed drinks likely cost upwards of $16?

Although I can’t stand to even look at Eric Williams, the lumpy headed ex-husband of Basketball Wife, Jennifer Williams, I gotta give it to him. When it comes to drink throwing, he has the right idea.

If you’re going to ferociously splash a full glass of an overpriced alcoholic beverage in someone’s face, make sure it belongs to the victim.

That way, you hit ‘em twice – once in the face and a second time in the wallet.

I suspect most women have enough self control to avoid physically attacking another individual. However, I’d still like to share some advice for the minority who don’t.

If you must throw a liquid concoction in another person’s face, choose something that’s as economical as it is offensive. Like a pint of Guinness on happy hour special or an orange soda.

Better yet, whatever happened to a simple, old fashioned pie? I say bring back pies.

Careers For Which They Lack Talent

Danielle Staub, Kim Zolciak, The Countess, I’m here to tell it; Ya can’t sang.

Your voice is a disaster to my ears.

Sheree Whitfield, Lisa Wu Hartwell, Alexis Bellino, you’re not designers.

You can’t draw.

You can’t sew.

You can’t – you know – DESIGN.

As much as I believe people should follow their dreams, I encourage you to pursue vocations where you possess BOTH the interest and talent. The latter is vitally important.

Bethenny Frankel chose a career path for which she was capable AND passionate. Look at how swimmingly that worked out for her.

Ridiculously Ginormous Homes

Your house is too big.

I grew up in a three bedroom, one bath, 1,400 square foot house.

My parents and us three kids (sometimes six kids when my cousins slept over) managed just fine.

If I hear one more spoiled, yet remarkably broke Housewife declare her 4,000 sq. ft. home too small for an emaciated mother, a mostly absent father and a couple small children, I’m gonna spit.

Remove some of the frickin’ nannies, and you, your husband and toddlers can use more of the excessive space you already have.

Kids’ Birthday Parties

Taylor's Tea PartyTaylor, Taylor, Taylor, I applaud your willingness to publicly spend $60,000 on a 4 year old’s birthday bash. Although your daughter was completely uninterested in the entire ordeal, I’m glad you had a good time. Personally, I preferred Kyle Richards’ “sensibly” priced, more age appropriate birthday party for her daughter.

Although the average woman doesn’t have tens of thousands of dollars available for birthday celebrations, I’ve seen my fair share of waste on such festivities by people who live at the poverty level.

So that you understand what constitutes a big birthday, let’s go over the more notable ones here in the United States.

  • First – You survived an entire year.
  • Twelfth – You’re Jewish and spiritually accountable for your actions.
  • Sixteenth – In many states, you can legally drive without adult supervision.
  • Eighteenth – You’re an adult. You can vote, smoke, sign legally binding contracts, and serve in this great nation’s military.
  • Twenty-first – You can legally drink alcohol and gain admission to the better nightclubs. As an added bonus, you’re now permitted to invest in many companies’ 401(k)s.
  • Thirtieth – Congratulations. You’re officially old. You’re starting to feel it in your knees.
  • Every “ieth” birthday thereafter  - You’re old and you’re only getting older, but for some reason, after 30, people like celebrating birthdays with a zero at the end.

If it’s not on the above list, the birthday isn’t important.

Try not to go bankrupt celebrating it okay.

Ungrateful Children

NeNe Leakes has to be one of my favorite Housewives. After she called Kim, “a low down, dirty monkey with a wig” her fate as an all time fave of mine was sealed. Unfortunately, her son is a bum. I hope she didn’t let him move back in with her, because we’re tired of watching her enable laziness and mediocrity.

And Jacklyn, your daughter Ashley is a real jerk. She’s beyond clueless and beyond redemption. Who complains about having to wake up early and commute to work? That’s normal. Ashley has no respect for her mother. Her car should be repossessed by her parents, and she deserves to get her butt kicked out of that fabulous house in which she’s living rent free.

You might not have a lot in common with the Real Housewives, but if nothing else, they can teach you how to NOT manage your money.

What other ways have you seen reality stars and real women waste money?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

ShoeGal September 22, 2011 at 1:50 PM

I have never seen the show, but it sounds like I would get aggravated with it pretty quick.

One thing I gave up has been alchohold (for the most part) because it is so expensive.

Reply

Shawanda September 25, 2011 at 8:57 AM

A lot of people can't stand The Housewives. I think they're great if for no other reason than they're entertaining.

As for alcohol, I may change what I drink, but I refuse to stop all together. Unless there's some medical reason to stop, the alcohol stays.

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Mark A. Morales September 22, 2011 at 6:12 PM

My favorite housewives are from Orange County, the original cast, I love Vicky!

This hits everything that has been in my head but never thought anyone else noticed. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I hated this season of New Jersey housewives, it was all about I don't even know her name but her and her sister in law and her brother. #annoying

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Shawanda September 25, 2011 at 9:02 AM

OMG! Vicky is the best. I love how she found a way to take care of her two kids as a single mother. She's grown an amazing business. And her kids have turned out pretty good too. I like how she makes them aware of how hard she works to pay for all those nice things they've grown accustomed to. The other women complain about how much Vicky works, but she's doing something she loves and the other women are broke.

Personally, I like this season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Maybe I'm just so glad Danielle is gone any replacement would make me happy.

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Andrea MoneyMastered September 22, 2011 at 8:57 PM

I haven't watched the show either but it sounds like I need to! I would probably learn a lot from those idiots.

I don't know how I would act with a ton of money, but I'd like to think I could do a little better than that. I don't know why people suddenly think they need so many material things. I'd probably still shop at Walmart and Old Navy no matter how much I could afford. I'd rather rest easy knowing I had money put away in case all that fortune ever disappeared.

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kim September 26, 2011 at 5:32 PM

And Bethany can't cook! Skinny Girl margaritas are just alcohol and stevia – no real flavor! Have you noticed that one housewife per city has filed for bankruptcy? Ridiculousness.

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Shawanda September 26, 2011 at 5:44 PM

Did anybody file for bankruptcy from RHONY?! They seem to have it more together than the rest. Oh, wait a minute. I just looked it up. I forgot all about Sonja Morgan. smh

The Skinny Girl margarita isn't all that great, but I did get a good tip from Bethenny about low calorie alcoholic beverages. I saw a video (I think) where she recommended tequila and lime juice. Of all the Housewives, I respect Bethenny Frankel and Vicky Gunvalson the most as businesswomen.

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discodiva73 October 6, 2011 at 8:40 AM

I just found your blog and love it! This article especially because I am a die hard HW of Any City fan! Its pure entertainment. And yeah…the money saving tips. Those are ok too ;)

Reply

A. Gonzales July 24, 2012 at 11:41 AM

Yes, you need to do an update with Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and those AWFUL butt implants!!

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