Friends Don’t Make Friends Overspend: Wedding Edition

by Shawanda Greene

Wedding Cupcake

I don’t wanna sound blasphemous, but I hate weddings. They’re such an elaborate waste of money, I just can’t stand them.

According to CNNMoney.com, the average wedding cost $21,814 in 2008 down from $27,490 in 2007.

You got $22,000 burning a hole in your bank account, then buy me a high quality diamond. Something I can look at and admire on a daily basis. I want women whose weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars to be so daggum jealous of me, they [fill in something debilitatingly clever here].

Now, don’t get mad. I wouldn’t judge you for spending ridiculous sums of money on your wedding. I’d only judge you if you spent someone else’s money (e.g. American Express, your indigent mother) on your ridiculous wedding.

A while back, my best friend really ticked me off when she announced she was getting married to her on again off again boyfriend and wanted me to be her maid of honor. I don’t really get involved in people’s business, so it wasn’t the groom that bugged me. It was their rocky relationship. The problem was that she asked me to incur non-refundable expenses for an event that was unlikely to occur.

I realized I’d gotten off easy when a friend told me she couldn’t go with me to Ireland, because she couldn’t afford it due to a wedding she’d committed to. Both her and her son will be in the wedding.

Here’s the rundown.

Budget for Friend's Wedding

Are you essing me?!

Over $2,200 for somebody else’s stuff!

It’s not fair!

Enter Your Name and Email Below and Click

Most people aren’t like me. You might really enjoy attending weddings or being in them. Plus, you may not want to completely disappoint your loved ones by selfishly refusing to participate in costly activities that are important to them.

If you care for the person who asked you to either attend or participate in their wedding, and you’re loaded, then it’s perfectly okay to be a part of their big day/week.

If that’s not the case, here’s what I suggest. Instead of responding with, “Ain’t nobody got no money!” when you’re asked to be a member of the wedding party, stay calm.

Try this four step process for dealing with the situation.

Step 1

Understand your friend may be a bit jaded when it comes to the expenses you’ll incur. She is spending $22,000 on a wedding after all. Your $2,250 represents mere pennies in her eyes.

Step 2

Find out how much the event will cost you. Use the budget above as a starting point. To share in this glorious occasion, you might have to sell something or take on a second job or push off motherhood for another year or take a semester off college. But it’s best to know this upfront.

Step 3

If you find you simply can’t afford what your friend is asking of you, then tell her. Perhaps she’ll be open to reconsidering her wedding budget. Presumably, you’re a close friend if you’re asked to be in a wedding.

Step 4

There’s nothing wrong with saying no if you don’t have the money. Under no circumstances do I advocate going into debt to be a part of a friend’s wedding. She should understand that you function in a world of limited resources. If she can’t comprehend that, then it’s fine to go back to the preamble to Step 1:

“Ain’t nobody got no money!”

This article was featured in the Carnival of Personal Finance #245 – “Dollar Doodles” edition at Budgets are Sexy.

Has a friend ever asked you to participate in an event that you either couldn’t afford or just didn’t want to spend the money on?

Photo credit – Sugarbloom Cupcakes

Did you enjoy this article?
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
Sign up for our weekly newsletter to receive exclusive wealth building tips and a FREE ebook, Curb Your Consumerism: 75 Secret Strategies to Waste Less, Live Well, and Save More Money.

Free copy of Curb Your Consumerism: 75 Secret Strategies to Waste Less, Live Well, and Save More Money
Exclusive wealth building tips delivered directly to your inbox
We will NEVER send you spam
Enter your name and email below to get INSTANT ACCESS to my free eBook and weekly newsletter!

{ 131 comments… read them below or add one }

digital altitude review July 2, 2016 at 2:06 PM

I personally have three diopters of cylinder and I’ve found that nothing comes close to my digital lenses.
digital altitude review recently posted..digital altitude reviewMy Profile


mintywebs July 4, 2016 at 9:49 PM

Dive deeper into JavaScript and jQuery to learn extra concerning the complexities of these thrilling tools and how
one can make use of them in your internet pages.
mintywebs recently posted..mintywebsMy Profile


eczema cream July 19, 2016 at 7:45 AM

Great goods from you, man. I have take into account your stufff previous to and
yoou are just too magnificent. I actually lke what you’ve got right here,
really like what you are stating and the way in which in which
you are ssaying it. You’re making it entertaining and you still care for
to stay it wise. I can not wait to learn far more from you.
This is actually a wonderful web site.
eczema cream recently posted..eczema creamMy Profile


web development tools 2015 July 19, 2016 at 9:50 AM

We perceive that along with being one among LA’s high net design corporations, comes our responsibility to guarantee
that our design is inextricably balanced with performance.
web development tools 2015 recently posted..web development tools 2015My Profile


best 10 Smartphone July 20, 2016 at 7:50 PM

Thanks for your personal mardvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will ensure that I
bookmark your blog and definitely will come back at some point.
I want to encourage yyou continue yopur great job, have
a nice afternoon!
best 10 Smartphone recently posted..best 10 SmartphoneMy Profile


網站設計 July 23, 2016 at 1:25 AM

It has a staff of highly qualified professional programmers and designers who are consultants
in programming languages and instruments corresponding to php, mysql, Java
Script, Adobe Flash and others.
網站設計 recently posted..網站設計My Profile


weight loss programs for women over 50 August 9, 2016 at 12:46 AM

THE PALEO DIET: Great for weight loss, Paleo encourages you to consume like a cave-woman by
eliminating all processed foods, grains and legumes
to focus on eating what was offered by the time – things like
animal protein (i.e chicken, fish), eggs, fruit, nuts, seeds
& veggies.
weight loss programs for women over 50 recently posted..weight loss programs for women over 50My Profile


how tall is dwayne johnson August 13, 2016 at 4:55 PM

Guy hold up???, lots of suggestions concerning the two workout routines.
Dude, I you truly know what works put it out there, so for some of you have comment on you prefer and some just look
to be critiquing the workouts. We just want to know
what’s operating to get us at least close to that superstar search.
how tall is dwayne johnson recently posted..how tall is dwayne johnsonMy Profile


best diet for women over 50 August 15, 2016 at 9:29 AM

Hi, I wish for to subscribe for this weblog to get most up-to-date updates, therefore where can i do it
please help out.
best diet for women over 50 recently posted..best diet for women over 50My Profile


text your ex back login page August 22, 2016 at 2:35 AM

I do not know what that’s – and I suspect you don’t know both, or you do
not want to face it. Maybe you don’t feel worthy
to be liked by another person, otherwise
you’re scared to set yourself as much as get damage once more.
text your ex back login page recently posted..text your ex back login pageMy Profile


Cheryle September 14, 2016 at 4:37 AM

The water damage is most marked within the rainy season but is
probably not tied to it. There are many ways in which water can avoid damage
you are unacquainted with which is why it is a wise decision to hire help to ensure that every of the injury is slowly removed plus
your residence is safe to reside again. Cracks, tears, and rot in your roofing material do understand signs that water
damage has occurred.
Cheryle recently posted..CheryleMy Profile


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 4 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post:

Page 1 of 11