It’s Alive!

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By “it”, I mean my blog.

Soooo, it’s been roughly two months or so since we last spoke. Admittedly, that’s a while. A few You Have More Than You Think readers reached out to see if I was in good health…whether life was treating me well. You know who you are, and I genuinely appreciate your compassion and concern.

As for the rest of  yous, I didn’t hear a peep. I coulda been dead ya selfish jerks!

But that’s neither here nor there.

I’m alive.

I’m well.

I’ll start things off with a teeny, tiny confession. I’ve been busy at work as well as in my personal life, but I haven’t been so pressed I couldn’t find time to birth a blog post or two. The inexplicable hiatus was due primarily to good ol’ fashioned laziness.

Honestly, I’m kind of ashamed. You should see the remains of my massacred budget. The spring came, and I lost my wits which usually happens every year. I shed the winter weight, update my tattered, sauce stained wardrobe, and relax the purse strings.

There’s an article I’ve been hoping to pen for months, but this ain’t it.

Let’s catch up.

Here are a few highlights of my life over the last 69 days.

• Watched all 8 seasons of Monk. I simply could not rest until I found out who killed Trudy.

• Bought practically every shade of ankle length, denim jeggings (a fashion trend I previously thought to be no less than dreadful) from Urban Outfitters. These pants are so tight you don’t even need a belt. My greatest fear was realized the morning I broke a nail while pulling, stretching, bending, squeezing and kicking into my black pair.

• Met a sales associate named Nappy at Guess which initially evoked an internal emotional response that reminded me of the days I wasn’t “happily nappy.” My, how things change.

• Spent $300 on the cutest, hot pink Coach bag you’ve ever seen. Which promptly began to lose said hot pink paint 3 weeks after I bought it. I mean really…REALLY?!

• Thought I’d have to amputate the tip of my pinky finger when I got it stuck in the complimentary key chain I received in conjunction with the purchase of above mentioned handbag.

• Met a boy. I know what you’re thinking, but he’s only partly to blame for my absence.

• Inadvertently disclosed the ugly truth of what happens when my boy’s seemingly put together girl loses it, throws her head back, and falls asleep with her mouth agape in a New York taxi after a long, drunken night on the roof top of The Dream Hotel.

• Visited New York City three times and discovered the joys and perils of “traveling like a human” thru a website called AirBnB. More to come on that at a later date.

• Rode a mechanical bull for 8 seconds at a bar in Charlotte, NC. Could’ve sworn I was on there a full minute.

• Injured my left foot while jogging at a 5.0 mile/hour pace on a treadmill in the air conditioned comfort of my neighborhood Gold’s Gym while wearing a new pair of $100 running shoes. I can barely do a calf raise now. I know. I’m hardcore.

• Agreed to foot a $3,000 bill to replace the central air and heating unit of a close family member. I felt relieved when they decided to liquidate  a portion of their 401(k) (before 59 1/2 years of age). They weren’t satisfied with the pace at which I was conducting my product research. That’s fine. More shoes for me. Ya gotta learn to set boundaries people.

• Witnessed the most discriminating dog terrorize passersby outside the P Street Whole Foods. I still can’t figure out what criteria he used to determine who was deserving of his vengeance, but it sure was funny watching 19 blissfully ignorant, unsuspecting yuppies walk by a calm, sweet little dog. Unfortunately, number 20 got the [expletive] scared out of ‘em. Hehehe.

• Rocked a new hairdo aptly named “squiggles” by a colleague. Check out the locs (and disturbingly muscular deltoids.)

Notice the uncanny resemblance to Zoolander.

• Missed the company of the mouse who invaded my space 3 days before the first snow storm of the past winter who immediately abandoned me as soon as the weather warmed up. Furry ingrate.

Yeah. This post wasn’t the most relevant, but I just wanted to let you know of the random moments in my life.

I missed you.

Care to share the notable events that incurred in your life over the past couple of months? Don’t be shy. Clearly, I’m no one to judge.

Tagged as: random