The likelihood of us becoming close friends is inversely related to your propensity to hassle me. Words generally used to describe me are “smart,” “sarcastic,” and just plain ol’ “awesome.”

Over the years, I’ve managed to escape labels such as “generous” or “giving.” Why? Again, because I don’t want to be hassled. You need a favor. Leave me alone. Figure out how to do it yourself. I have little patience for those who don’t grasp the concept of self sufficiency.

However, I don’t see myself as selfish. Before I help someone, I usually ask myself three questions:

1. How burdensome is the task they’re asking of me?
2. Can they do it themselves with relative ease?
3. If I asked the same of them, would they be able and willing to help me?

Right now, you’re probably thinking that I am pretty selfish.

Allow me to explain.

Just because I’m unwilling to sacrifice my time, money and energy for an individual who resembles the likes of an inconsiderate freeloader more than a disadvantaged victim, doesn’t mean I’m selfish. And you know what? If you share the same opinion (albeit biased), you’re not selfish either.

Many people confuse spinelessness with generosity. They know they don’t wanna help nobody. If they weren’t afraid of what others would think of them, their responses to common requests would go something like this:

Transportation Request

Question: Can you drop me off at the airport? My flight leaves at 6:00 in the morning.

Answer: No.

Question: Why not?

Answer: Because I don’t feel like it. You know I don’t wake up until 8:15. Take a cab.

Moving Request

Question: Could you help me move on Saturday?

Answer: No.

Question: Why not?

Answer: I don’t know you like that. Plus, I don’t feel like it. You’ve been ducking and dodging me since I loaned you $50. Um, since you brought it up, where’s my money?

Money Request

Question: Can I borrow $350 to pay my light bill?

Answer: No.

Question: Why not?

Answer: You already owe me $50. If I had it to loan, I’d give it to you. Actually, I could give it to you. But I don’t feel like it. Maybe if you sell that big screen you just bought, you’ll have the money to pay a taxi and the movers and your light bill.

You have to shut down people who always need something. Unlike genuine charitable giving, enabling deadbeats only make you feel like a pushover. Not only are they time sucks and financial drains, they rob you of the opportunity to relish in your charitableness.

Before you agree to lend your services, ask yourself – Am I doing this because I’m generous, or is my lack of a spine clouding my judgment?

How do you decide who’s deserving of your sacrifice?

There’s nothing wrong with investing in yourself. Actually, I’m a huge proponent of continual self improvement. I’m not averse to spending money to ultimately make money, and I have a sneaking suspicion you aren’t either. Three sentences in and you should already know we’re going to take this discussion in a different direction.

I’m not a psychic, but allow me to attempt to lay out a likely scenario you relive over and over again. You get really passionate about a particular activity, hobby, or interest. Being the eternal information junkie, you immerse yourself in books, blogs, podcasts, magazines. Practically anything you can get a hold of that will expand your knowledge in the area. Without exception, embedded in this information is a product or a service that will make you better and faster than you could ever be without it.

You want to be better.

You want to be faster.

And then…..you buy something.

Whether your passion is knitting or mountain biking, if you want to be the best you have to buy the best tools that’ll get you there. Right? It sure seems so. But spending big money on every new activity that sparks your interest is financially dangerous.

Before you go plopping down a month’s salary on that mountain bike and all its fixings, have you carefully evaluated whether you’re truly committed? How many hours have you recently logged on, well, any bike? If your daily consumption of TV watching and couch cruising hover around four or five hours a day, consider inflating the tires of that beach cruiser you haven’t ridden in seven years. Take it for a few spins first.

And don’t think for a second that just because you spent a lot of money on something you’ll use it. Case in point, I haven’t been to the gym in at least two months. You think a $43 monthly membership fee is sufficient motivation to get me to workout? It isn’t. I’ve yet to encounter one person at the gym who works out because they’re paying for a membership. Not a one!

You might say a $43 monthly fee is child’s play. For additional examples, I turned to Craigslist – a seemingly never ending source of demonstrative and entertaining fodder for this blog. Listed below are actual items posted by sellers on Craigslist. For ease of reading, I’ve written in quotes, below each product, the phrase that led me to believe the seller inadequately assessed their level of commitment prior to making a purchase decision.

“Brand new still in box.”

Asking Price: $900

“This treadmill has been used less than TWO HOURS. Bought brand new from Life Fitness authorized dealer.”

Asking Price: $2,750

“Very solid, very nice, never been used.”

Asking Price: $250

“Opened it and never used it. Put it back in the box and has been in the basement since.”

Asking Price: $100

To be fair, I felt compelled to share with you my 1.5 year old $500 bike that I’ve ridden twice. What have you purchased with great intentions of putting to good use? I prefer this information one of two ways: 1) In the comment section below or 2) If you’re feeling especially generous, an actual photo that can be added to this blog post. Please send photos to ShawandaGreene@yahoo.com.

The other day, I was casually chatting with a family member. She is a financial dunce who repeatedly serves up material for this blog. If you’re a regular reader of You Have More Than You Think, then you already know this particular family member’s name. If you’re not, her name is Larissa, and I will be referring to her as such going forward.

Since I’m a personal finance nutjob, I anxiously await the opportunity to bring up the subject of money in nearly every conversation. Doesn’t matter how inappropriate. If an opportunity doesn’t present itself, I create one. It’s what I do.

So, Larissa and I were talking about eeeeh, something, when I asked her if she had homeowner’s insurance on her paid for home. Her response was a lackadaisical, “Oh, I forgot to renew it.”

My response was, “Are you *expletive* me?!”

Look, this is beyond stupid. Perhaps you were expecting me to drone on about how buying quality goods is frugal. Forget about that cheap watch you got in AnyChinatown, USA that fell apart only days after you bought it. That’s child’s play compared to inadequately insuring your assets.

Your primary residence is one of the most important assets you’ll ever own. If you have a mortgage on your property and you fail to make the payments, you’ll find that the mortgagee (the lender) will pay the homeowner’s insurance for you. Why? Because they know how important it is to protect their asset.

Paying off your mortgage and eliminating the lender’s interest in your property is a wise financial move. However, you must take on the responsibility of making sure your asset is protected at that point.

You’ll likely spend decades paying off your mortgage. Decades! Throughout that time, you’ll probably pay three times the purchase price of the home after factoring in interest. If your home was destroyed while you didn’t have insurance, here are your options:

1. Renting
2. Owning….again
3. Squatting with a loved one
4. Homelessness

For some reason, I find the first two options to be the most offensive. You’ve already paid for your residence once. And you’ve likely done this over many, many years.

I don’t care if you live in Miami, FL and your homeowner’s insurance policy expires on July 15th. If you have to sell your A/C unit to renew your homeowner’s insurance, then so be it. Sweat it out.

Although far more acceptable, going without health insurance and disability insurance is equally stupid. But I’ll save that for another day.

What are some of the dumb strategies you’ve used to save money?

The following is a guest post from Tiá Jones, MBA.

Picture it. On a blistering cold evening in the winter of 2005, I received a frantic phone call from a family member whose loan application had just been denied.

To protect the indigent, let’s refer to this family member as Larissa. Unable to obtain law school financing due to her poor credit, Larissa contacted the only relative (albeit a single mother of a one-year old son) who could solve her problem.

Other family members were undesirable credit risks, i.e, plagued by bad credit. I was the only one stupid financially stable enough to cosign a student loan of a whopping $40,000. With a 7.5% interest rate, no less.

Fast forward to 2009. Still a single mother, but a newly minted MBA, I was all fired up to purchase my first home. With a 741 FICO score, decent savings, and preapproval letter in hand, I found the perfect place. I even managed to negotiate $14,000 off the asking price. I paid for inspections, gave my landlord notice to vacate, then packed up my belongings and put them in storage.

Days before closing, I discovered there was one stipulation remaining on my file. Out of the blue, this $40,000 student loan – which, according to my inexperienced loan officer, would be a non issue – stood between me and my dream home. After a meticulous review of my file, in the same fashion and passion as Suze Orman, the underwriter sent me an e-mail:

“YOU ARE DENIED! YOUR DEBT-TO-INCOME RATIO IS TOO HIGH!”

There is a happy ending to this story. At least Larissa can call herself a lawyer now. I, however, am forced to look for an apartment rental because my son starts school in 8 days.

I won’t put you to sleep with all the gory details of this financial blooper. I fear the final tally will cause me to lose my lunch, but here’s a rough sketch of what it’s cost me.

So if my story wasn’t enough to convince you, I want to provide the top 4 reasons you should never ever cosign a loan.

1. People who need cosigners need them because the lender doesn’t think they’ll repay the loan. When have you heard of anyone with a good cosigning experience?
2. No one is worth risking your financial future (maybe your kid or spouse, but – eh – maybe not).
3. Cosigned debt is 100% your debt. If the primary borrower defaults or dies, you’ll be the one paying for it.
4. As evidenced by my experience, this debt is factored into calculations that determine whether you’ll get approved for a mortgage.

If you found this article after cosigning someone else’s debt…I feel sorry for you, but here are some things that you can do.

1. Take out a term life insurance policy on them. Their death doesn’t release you from paying off the debt.
2. Stay on them. Constantly remind them to renegotiate, refinance, and remove you off the loan.
3. Check your credit score. The loan may affect your ability to purchase large items such as a car or a home.
4. Call the lender. Find out what can be done to release you from the loan.
5. Make sure they’re making the payments on time. You might have to step in and make the payments to save your credit.
6. Don’t kill them. I thought this was worth mentioning after number 1.

Sometimes helping others achieve their dreams may cost you your own. Spare yourself the trouble, and learn from my mistakes.

Tiá Jones is President of New Legacy Services, LLC, a small business coaching and consulting firm.  Her clients include YouHaveMoreThanYouThink.org and SistersSpace.com.  When she is not trying to change the world through entrepreneurship, she blogs about event planning and all things pretty on TheHostessChick.com.

What self-proclaimed frugal nut isn’t a fan of free? From time to time, I like to see what’s available – for free – on Craigslist and Freecycle. Last Tuesday, I felt like doing a little “shopping” on Craigslist. Crest Whitestrips were the first product listed under the free category. This was welcome news since I’ve been planning on conducting another round of teeth whitening for a while now.

The individual listing the product (hereafter referred to as the Craigman) wrote he’d won the Whitestrips through a raffle with his son’s school. Around 2:45 in the morning, I furiously composed an e-mail to the Craigman requesting he hand over the Whitestrips. Since I responded only minutes after the post appeared on Craigslist, I expected an instant reply. It wasn’t until later that day I noticed the Craigman’s e-mail in my spam folder. Here’s what it said:

Unfortunately someone already claimed the strips and is supposed to be picking them up in a couple hours… If she doesn’t show up should I email you?

If you’re willing to experiment with a different brand than Crest, I’ve had some really good results with another product and I think they still send out free starter kits. I can send the link if you want to try it just let me know.

Scott

Wasn’t that nice? Nevertheless, I ignored the e-mail since so many hours passed between my attempt to claim the Whitestrips and receipt of the Craigman’s reply. At that point, I figured I’d hunt for a Whitestrips coupon code, and buy them at a discounted price on the Internet.

But the Craigman was really nice. Even after I failed to acknowledge his generosity he sent me the following:

Well she showed up and picked up the strips… If I happen to get another box I’ll let you know.

The link for the free starter kit is: http://dazzlewhite.lifeports.com

After only 4 days’ use, my teeth were as white as when I paid my dentist $300 to do the same thing. The best part is I don’t have any sensitivity issues. I sometimes used the trays at home too, but found that this works a lot better for me and is much faster.

Oh, I’m not sure if its still valid, but I entered the word “whiteteeth” to take off most of the shipping charges when I first ordered.

Hope this helps,

Scott

How kind of  the Craigman. I’ve never encountered Freecyclers who’d send a second e-mail after their first offer was disregarded. The Craigman even provided a coupon code to help me out with shipping. It was like he knew me.

I clicked on the link to order a free sample. The web site looked pretty normal.

In order to qualify for the free trial offer, I first had to answer a few questions. I’m still not sure how any combination of answers would prohibit me from taking advantage of a sample kit.

While waiting to see if I was worthy of a free trial of Dazzle Smile’s whitening system, this screen appeared.

Bona fide proof that the company is legitimate, and their product works. If you’re not paying attention, it appears as if the product was vouched for by reputable news programs. Dazzle Smile has actually noted news outlets their product appeared on. Is it possible Dazzle Smile was seen in USA Today as an advertisement? Perhaps the product was featured on a late night infomercial?

Before providing my personal information, I gave the contact form a once over. First name, last name, address, city, state, zip code. Nothing weird about that.

Everything looked fairly straightforward until I noticed a strange request. They wanted a phone number – preferably a cell phone number. If I wasn’t sure the Craigman was trying to scam me before, this strange request removed all doubt.

I strongly suspect that “cell phone” is one word instead of two. I’m not sure so I won’t harp on Dazzle Smile too much for that one. However, the way “incase” is used here tells me that it definitely isn’t one word. And why is there inconsistent use of capitalization and punctuation? What I find most suspicious is how committed Dazzle Smile is to making sure a prospective customer’s free trial is delivered.

I could’ve stopped here, but things were getting interesting. Don’t worry. I entered fictitious information in the contact form. You shouldn’t be surprised by what happened next.

Dazzle Smile needs credit card information to pay for shipping costs. The Craigman had already given me the coupon code for discounted shipping. Remember? Look. Satisfaction is guaranteed.

But who needs a guarantee for that which is free?

I see. By providing your credit card information to these crooks, you enroll in an $80 per month membership to receive Dazzle Smile. But wait, they’re not finished yet. You also sign up for World Club Fitness and Weight Loss Resources for a monthly price tag of $7 and $9, respectively. Who said anything about losing weight?!

Of course you can cancel any time. Good luck trying to get someone on the phone who’ll honor your cancellation request.

Maybe the Craigman was trying to give me the opportunity to use a valuable product. Nope. He tried to trick me in to signing up for a membership program through an affiliate network for something I clearly wanted for free.

On Monday, August 17th, the Craigman was up to his old shenanigans again.

An easy way to quickly get more money in your pocket is to increase the number of withholding allowances on Form W-4. By doing so, you don’t change your income. You just change the timing of when you receive your money. In the past, a compelling argument could be made to avoid receiving a large income tax refund because you could’ve earned interest on those funds during the year.

With high yield savings accounts paying interest of 1.o% to 1.5%, that argument isn’t as convincing as it used to be. Toss in the fact that you’re required to pay ordinary income taxes on that interest, and you’re almost back to zero anyway. But giving Uncle Sam an interest free loan is far more sinister than it appears.

I volunteer to teach a budgeting class for Capital Area Asset Builders, a Washington D.C. not-for-profit that focuses on helping people develop and improve money management skills. During class, I’ll bring up the importance of adjusting withholding allowances in order to receive money evenly throughout the year. You’d think I suggest the class participants cancel their cell phone service based on their reaction to this advice.

What’s so bad about receiving your money as you earn it?

While Big Brother is having his way with your hard earned cash, here is what you’re not doing:

• You’re not paying off high interest rate debt. Forget about earning a measly 1.0% on your savings account. Credit card companies aren’t shy about charging interest rates of 20, 25, or even, 30 percentage points. That interest-free loan to the government doesn’t cost an innocent 1.0%. It costs what you paid in interest to American Express, Sallie Mae, and any other creditor you borrowed money from.
• You’re not buying the things you need/want during the year. I’m a big believer in delayed gratification. However, if you take a portion of your income tax refund and purchase a washer/dryer after year-end, then why’d you inconvenience yourself with hauling clothes back and forth from the laundromat all year? That doesn’t make any sense.

Here are the three most popular excuses for continuing to get a big income tax refund:

• “It’s a forced way of savings. I’ll just blow that money if I receive it throughout the year.”
• “I might end up owing the government thousands of dollars at year-end if I miscalculate how much I owe in income taxes.”
• “I’ll still get a huge refund, because I can’t claim more than 10 withholding allowances.”

Hogwash!!! All of it!

• Have the extra funds direct deposited into a savings account from your paycheck with a bank that’s completely separate from the financial institution that holds your checking account. Your employer doesn’t offer this perk? Then have that money automatically transferred from your checking account to your savings account (again at a separate financial institution) no more than a business day or two after you receive your paycheck. If your bank is so antiquated you can’t set up automatic transfers, then get with the times, and find another bank.
• If your income, deductions, and credits are fairly consistent from year to year, then I wouldn’t worry too much about owing the government a large sum of cash come April 15th. If you’re still nervous, check out Dinky Town’s income tax calculators to get a better idea of your tax obligations. To further reduce the risk of being hit with a large tax bill, adjust your withholding allowances so that you only receive 50% of the previous year’s refund during the current year. For instance, if you received a $5,000 refund in 2008, then try to get an extra $2,500 in your paychecks during 2009. Use the Payroll Deduction Calculator at Dinky Town to see how changing your allowances impacts your take home pay.
• You can claim as many withholding allowances on Form W-4 as necessary to ensure you’re paying the appropriate amount of income tax. Many companies allow you to change your W-4 over the Internet. Some organizations cap the number of allowances you can claim on an electronically submitted W-4. Here’s what you need to do if your employer is one such organization: 1) Print out Form W-4. 2) Fill it out. 3) Walk your lazy self over to your company’s human resources or payroll department and turn the form in. It’s that simple.

I actually think it’s better to owe the government money, but not so much you’re penalized for underpayment of income taxes.

Do you receive an income tax refund every year? Why haven’t you adjusted your withholding allowances?