The 5 Most Financially Dangerous Haters (and How to Stand Up to Them)

by Shawanda Greene

The purpose of this blog post is to make you aware of the diverse array of haters and to arm you with a strong defense against their jealousy and ignorance.

Generally, you should avoid negative people who seek to steal your joy, light, or whatever. But haters are often close family members and friends – loved ones if you will. As a result, it’s hard to escape their misguidance.

You’ll find that haters are pretty crafty. They won’t explicitly state that you shouldn’t dream of becoming financially wealthy. Instead, they’ll attempt to disguise their foolish opinions as wisdom.

The various haters we’re about to discuss aren’t necessarily terrible people. They’re just terrible with money. Whether intentional or unintentional, these folks are itching to dole out bad financial advice. (You know their counsel is bad because they have no finances.)

So who are these haters? And how do you protect yourself against them?

The “Tomorrow Ain’t Promised” Hater

What he’s trying to say is “give it up.” His financial plan consists solely of spending his last dollar on his last day, and yours should too. Unfortunately, there’s a pretty good chance his money will run out way before his life will.

How to React - For this character, a strong defense will handily obliterate his poorly concocted offense. Simply acknowledge, “Yeah. Tomorrow isn’t promised, but according to this actuarial table, there’s a strong probability I’ll live 50-something more years.”

He’ll just keep repeating his same old tired mantra, “Tomorrow ain’t promised. Tomorrow ain’t promised.”

You’ve said your piece.

Move on.

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The “Can I Borrow a Few Dollars to Pay the Bill for My [essential service that'd appear at the top of any sensible person's budget]” Hater

This one knows your efforts have paid off, and she’s looking to exploit them. In this hater’s mind, her emergencies fall under the umbrella of your emergency fund. She’ll emphasize the fact that she’s not asking you for money for frivolous reasons.

How to React - Don’t succumb to this tactic, and don’t offer her any sympathy. Refer her to the nearest government agency or local charity that deals with cases such hers. You and I both know, she’d have the money if she hadn’t blown it on a night out with her friends.

The “You Can’t Make Money in the Stock Market” Hater

You gotta be careful with this one. He’s not as dumb as the others. After careful research of credible, respectable news publications such as The Economist and The Wall Street Journal, he’s concluded that the system is rigged in favor of the über-rich. He maintains that aspirations of wealth are futile unless, of course, you’re already wealthy.

How to React - Hear him out. Chicken Little will, if nothing else, inspire you to diversify your  portfolio.

All his cash will be under his mattress. Soooooo, if you’re ever in a bind….

The “You Have to Live a Little” Hater

This hater erroneously equates those who are financially disciplined with those who are miserably miserly. Her house is bursting at the seams with stuff she’s never used and can’t afford. Any impulse purchase can be justified with the simple justification, “you have to enjoy your money.”

How to React - She’s hopeless. Just smile, nod, and get what you can get from her. When you visit, ask if you can have one of her four food processors or some other contraption you’ve delayed buying. There’s probably some extra meat in her freezer that you can use before it’s frost bitten.

This hater has an emotional attachment to her possessions, so convincing her to give you anything may prove difficult. Stay on her OR ask her husband if you can grab a few things when she’s not looking.

I assure you, she won’t miss them.

The “Living Debt-Free is Unrealistic” Hater

It’s one thing to shun a reasonable idea, it’s another to classify highly attainable financial goals as impossible. This individual is poisonous. He can clearly see people outside of his social circle realizing all kinds of goals and still feels hopeless.

How to React – If you have it in you to feel sorry for any hater, feel sorry for this one. Try to offer some genuine words of encouragement. Accomplish your financial goals, and show him how you did it. If he insists on wallowing in self pity, then “shake the dust off your feet” and carry on about your daily affairs. You’re well advised to limit your exposure to this particular hater if he doesn’t change his ways.

These are just a few things I’ve tried to cope with those who can easily derail our financial plans.

What types of haters have you encountered, and how do you deal with them?

This post was featured in the Festival of Frugality – Back to School Edition over at Money Crashers.

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

jessica February 16, 2011 at 11:06 PM

You are so spot on! I've heard all of these. Especially the "tomorrow ain't promised" and " you have to live a little."


Shawanda February 17, 2011 at 6:27 PM

Long time no see. Glad you stopped by!


Rick February 17, 2011 at 4:36 AM

LOL. It's funny because it's true. Great post. *wipe tears away*


Shawanda February 17, 2011 at 6:31 PM

Thanks! That's an interesting site you got there. I'm in the process of reading – okay, listening to Think and Grow Rich. It seems like a ton of really wealthy people have read it. There must be something to it.


tmgbooks.com February 17, 2011 at 1:32 PM

I gotta admit that I am something of a stock market hater but that is due in part to my OCD behavior when it comes to checking my portfolio balance all the time.

But it is also because I am just more comfortable putting the at-risk part of my investments in Rea Estate — different strokes, right?

But the real problem with the stocks is human nature — people jump in when it's at the top and jump out at the bottom — according to MSN Money the average annual return for the way really invest in stocks (jumping in and out at the wrong time) is just 1.3%!!!!!

If I wasn't human, I might chance it…


Shawanda February 17, 2011 at 6:36 PM

I was just talking to my boss today about our 401(k). I was basically complaining about how I didn't think the funds were of the same quality as the ones I have outside my 401(k). After discussing the performance of two of the dogs in my account, he mentioned that perhaps I could just sell the under performers. I told him I'll sit tight. When you invest in risky, volatile funds, you're hoping for above average market returns. The bumpy ride is just part of the process.


KNS_Financial February 19, 2011 at 4:47 PM

I really like this list. It pays to have a planned response before you get hit with these sayings and questions.


Shawanda February 22, 2011 at 12:08 AM

Thanks! I believe as the economy improves, more and more of these folks will reappear.


Aloysa February 21, 2011 at 12:22 PM

Great post! Loved it! I have a friend – she not a hater but can be very annoying. Her motto is "you have to live a little." Her "little" turns out sometimes into a lot: a lot of debt, a lot of bills, a lot of money washing (or whatever it is called) between credit cards. When I try to reason what do I hear back? Yes, you guessed it – you have to live a little. :-)


Shawanda February 22, 2011 at 12:03 AM

Haha! I told you they were hopeless, but we gotta love them anyway.


Squirrelers February 21, 2011 at 4:26 PM

I like this list….it's good to be able to recognize the "haters", and to be prepared to successfully deal with them. Be nice, but don't give in to them.

A different type of hater is one who hates spending their own money but wants to get you to pay. These people CAN afford things, they choose not to spend though…but will be ok if you pay for them. They're not needy, just greedy. I know a couple where I call the lady The Extractor. She's always trying to get free stuff from businesses, and lets you pay for dinners, etc. The husband is a cheapskate too. They're extractors, so I don't deal with them anymore:)


Shawanda February 22, 2011 at 12:07 AM

"The Extractor." LOL! I know someone like that. She's big on free samples. It just bugs me when people are ALWAYS trying to get something for nothing. I'm frugal, but I think it's okay to buy stuff you derive value from sometimes. Sheesh.


Marinda S February 22, 2011 at 11:28 AM

My family is filled with the :live a little" camp and I have a bread machine, bookcases and video camera to prove it.

My hubby's family is the tomorrow ain't promised and guess what, the dollars do give out before the month/day/week/year is ended.

We stay clean of money discussions with both.


Romeo February 26, 2011 at 10:12 PM

hahaha. Another fabulous post, I'm glad I stumbled upon your site. I'll be interrupting my usual posting schedule to feature this post.


ShoeGal September 24, 2011 at 8:24 PM

I have also heard all of these. Just today, I had a …let's say, discussion, with my parents on this very topic. Great post!


Rona October 17, 2011 at 1:24 PM

Im new here but Seriously you crack me up.. I run into all of these. My good friend is a “You Have to Live a Little” Hater.. She makes twice what I do not including her husbands salary which would be 4 times what i make has a house full of things her garage is like a hoarders paradise and she says she cant make it and filed bankruptcy. i love her to death but i just cant make her see that its her spending that is the root of the problem and that me as a single parent is better off because i actually track every dime only buy what i can afford and learned my lesson about credit card debt.


Shawanda October 19, 2011 at 9:27 PM

Those type are the craziest. I, literally, think their crazy. Maybe my brain functions differently, but I don't understand how someone can drive themselves into bankruptcy just because they're too immature to exercise a little self control.


A. Gonzales December 14, 2011 at 1:36 PM

You must know my family!!


@financialsamura January 1, 2012 at 2:11 AM

I haven't encountered haters in a while b/c nobody knows what I make or what I have. I like it that way!


aulelia January 22, 2012 at 3:09 AM

I get what you mean but I don't think that financial hating is limited to people who are more open. I think people always are focused on counting other people's money.


Walking Sticks January 10, 2012 at 6:11 PM

Everybody knows a hater. You just need to recognise them as quickly as possible then cut them out of your life.


Clarissa February 27, 2015 at 12:12 PM

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