Reader/viewer discretion is advised. The following blog post contains strong language that may not be suitable for youngsters or people who’re offended by cuss words.
People have different ways of dealing with adversity.
Some plaster their work space with reassuring Biblical verses.
Others try to erase painful memories by abusing drugs.
And still there are some who cover their ears, close their eyes, and pretend their problems will work themselves out.
Me? I stare at a picture of a honey badger.
If you learn nothing else about the honey badger, know that The Guinness Book of World Records crowned it the most fearless animal on the planet.
Many days, I feel like a honey badger.
Am I fearless? No.
I’m a mouthbreathing asthmatic who wet the bed until she graduated high school and cried nonstop for 30 minutes after watching The Notebook.
I’m hardly fearless.
However, the honey badger and I do have a few things in common.
We both eat larvae and smack the shit outta snakes.
If you haven’t already, watch The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger. You must in order to fully appreciate what I’m about to say.
But in case you’re short on time, below is a condensed version of the narrator’s description of what happens when the honey badger wants bee larvae for dinner.
Here’s a house full of bees. You think the honey badger cares? It doesn’t give a shit. It goes right into the house of bees to get some larvae. It doesn’t care about being stung by bees. Nothing can stop the honey badger when it’s hungry.
When it comes to dominating your finances, borrow a page from the honey badger playbook.
Think of the larvae as your financial goal. The bees are the minor inconveniences that annoy the bejeezus out of you along the way.
For example, you’ve committed to paying off your student loans within the next two years.
During that time, you give up certain luxuries you’re used to. You take staycations, shop at Forever 21, cook your own meals, and ride the Megabus through multiple states with commoners who talk on their cell phones at full volume in Hindi until their battery dies.
You do what it takes.
Surely, a well adjusted, mature adult like yourself can successfully navigate through a few bees.
You’re gonna pay that student loan off even if you’re attacked.
Even if you have to make sacrifices.
Even if you’re super distracted because bees are repeatedly stinging you in the face!
A lesser individual would give up, but not you. Uh uh.
Because, fuck bees. That’s why.
I wish your path to getting out of debt, saving for retirement, sending your kids to college, and whatnot was paved exclusively with angry bees.
But, it’s not.
There are cobras too.
Here comes a fierce battle between a King Cobra and the honey badger. There’s the honey badger just eating a mouse.
And then look. “Get away from me,” says the snake. “Get away from me!” Honey badger smacks the shit out of it. And the snake comes back and it lashes right at the honey badger.
Oh! Little does the honey badger know, it’s been bitten by the snake. So while it’s eating the snake…Ew! That’s disgusting. Meanwhile, the poisononous venom is seeping through the honey badger’s body, and it passes out.
Now the honey badger is just gonna pass out for a few minutes and then it’s gonna get right back up and start eating again because it’s a hungry little bastard.
Look at this. Like nothing happened!
Do you know what my first reaction was when I saw the honey badger roll over on his back and pass out after being bit by the snake?
It was something like, “Wow! Look at the balls on that one!”
As humans, heck, living creatures, our journey is rarely linear.
Sometimes external forces slow us down. They knock us out. They might kill us.
Cobras, clearly, are more powerful diversions than bees. They’re divorces and unexpected pregnancies and joblessness and medical setbacks.
The question is, do you have the cojones to stand up and keep eating after smacking the shit out of a snake, getting bit, and temporarily passing the fuck out?
I understand life is rough at times. In all its fearlessness, even the honey badger is a tasty meal for lions.
But before you start with the excuses, we’re not up against lions.
We’re effeminately fanning bees out of our face and back handing cobras. So let’s not exaggerate things.
The honey badger embodies so much of what I believe in – so much of what I wish I could be.
Given my affinity for the honey badger, I was thinking of making him the national symbol of You Have More Than You Think.
I even went a step farther and picked out a national anthem.
It’s message is most powerful when played in the presence of inferior creatures who are content with sitting on the sidelines while honey badgers, like ourselves, break in to the bees nest and take what we want.
Click link to hear the draft national anthem.
This blog post was featured in the Carnival of Wealth, Valentine’s Day Edition at Control Your Cash.
Photo Credit: RedBubble