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The Top 7 Worst People in the World

by Shawanda Greene

The FingerThere comes a time in every blogger’s life when she’s compelled to write about a topic that has nothing to do with her niche. For me, that time has come.

Have you ever crossed paths with a person who’s so inconsiderate you thank God you’re unarmed?

There are people who walk among us who laugh in the face of basic human decency. And for that, I hate them.

They’re not violent criminals, but they are awful none the less.

They worship at your church, workout at your gym, sit in the cubicle next to you. Maybe you had them over for a potluck dinner or bought Girl Scout cookies from their daughter. You have no clue what type of monsters these people are. They seem so . . . normal. Oh, but they’re not.

They’re jerks who deserve to be tarred, feathered, and burned in effigy.

Bring back the guillotine!

Let’s back up. I went too far.

As much as we’d like to see these guys pay for their crimes, we can’t. We don’t know who they are.

If not for murderers, rapists, and thieves, the seven people described below would top the unofficial list of The Worst People in the World.

Come to think of it, if you pull crap like this, in the words of the formerly great Trick Daddy, “Ain’t no tellin’ what you might do.”

1. Ms. Pees on the Toilet Seat

For the most part, we accept that men leave the toilet seat up.

You’re not the only woman who’s been violently awoken from a sleepy stupor after plummeting butt first into a toilet bowl. Once you regain composure, you curse the man responsible for the rude awakening, handle your business, and go back to bed.

By daybreak, the man is forgiven. At least you didn’t sit in pee.

What I don’t understand and can’t forgive is when a woman leaves pee on the toilet seat.

Fine. You don’t wanna contract another woman’s booty germs. I get it. You think sitting on a public toilet seat is disgusting.

But why, you nasty skank, do you think other women aren’t doubly disgusted by the idea of hovering over your piss?

You know your weak quads can’t hold a 20 second squat. If you refuse to clean up after yourself, then, please, sit down—you filthy, trifling piece o’ trash.

2. The Person Who Leaves Chewed Gum Under the Bar Counter

Chewed gum artwork

Photo Credit: FunGi_

After finishing grade school, you thought your days of touching someone else’s saliva ridden gum were over. We all did. And we were all wrong.

You desperately want to believe a six-year old is guilty of sticking the gelatinous horror under the bar counter. Then you remember, kids don’t sit at bars. So, you’re left asking one question: What adult thinks this behavior is okay?

It’s not okay!

If you’ve chewed all the minty sweetness out of your gum, spit it in a napkin and throw it in the trash. If a garbage can isn’t nearby, put the napkin in your pocket, purse, whatever. Dispose of it properly when you get a chance.

Or, you could take a big gulp of water and swallow it! You won’t choke.

3. The Moron Who Blocks the Intersection

Oh, you’re so fuckin’ special you can’t tolerate a 45 second add to your commute.

You can’t go nowhere.

Why would you pull out into the middle of the intersection and make the rest of us, who have the green light, wait?

The look on your idiotic face is what really burns me. You know you’re being a jackass.

Other drivers have little choice but to sit in their cars—utterly powerless—watching, honking, and yelling threatening obscenities.

You can’t drive through the cars that are causing you to block the intersection. We can’t drive through you. But boy, do I hope I’m driving a monster truck the next time I encounter you.

4. The Guy Who Walks His Pit Bull Without a Leash

Running pit bull

Aw, precious. It's not your fault your owner is an idiot. Photo Credit: sally9258

Is it me or does the guy who walks his dog unleashed always own a pit bull? You know, the kind of dog who’s a shoo in for Most Likely to Maul Your Chihuahua Just for Hoohahs award.

To be clear, there are a lot of responsible pit bull owners. But doesn’t it seem like stupid people gravitate toward this particular dog breed?

I’m not saying all pit bull owners are stupid, but I am saying that all stupid dog owners own pit bulls.

This character has no control over his animal. The purpose of a leash is to protect your dog’s safety as well as the safety of other dogs.

When you see this bozo coming, for your own well being, get out of his way. Just have your knife ready in case you need to stab his dog.

5. The Guy Who Occupies Two Parking Spaces in a Crowded Lot

On Monday evening, like every gym goer in the nation, you’re hoping to reverse the negative effects of the bad food you ate over the weekend.

Your Zumba class starts in five minutes. And you want a spot that’s NOT directly behind that super uncoordinated chick. Her lack of rhythm is definitely contagious.

If only that dickhead hadn’t helped himself to two parking spaces, you’d have nothing to worry about.

Let’s be serious. Even if said dickhead used only one space, you wouldn’t get it. Someone luckier than you would’ve snagged it well before you showed up.

But that doesn’t stop you and ten other frustrated gym rats from driving pass that fucker’s C-Class Mercedes condemning the date of his conception.

6. Those Two Broads Who Smoke in the Parking Garage

cigarette butts

Photo Credit: Sarah DuMay

Even if you hate cigarettes, you respect others’ choices to smoke them.

If they wanna kill themselves, they can go right ahead. It’s none of our business. You just don’t want their addiction to become your business when they force you to walk through plumes of carcinogen laced smoke because their lazy assess don’t want their boss to know the frequency of their breaks.

Smoke outside—a considerable distance from the building’s entrance.

7. To Me: The Bitch Who Waits Until the Last Second Before Merging Onto a Busy Highway

Occasionally, I am unfamiliar with a particular stretch of the interstate.

I don’t always know when my lane will end or when the exit ramp is coming up. But truthfully, most of the time, I’m fully aware of when I need to change lanes. I just don’t wanna wait.

There’s usually one person gracious enough to let me cut in front of him. If not, there’s bound to be someone who’s distracted long enough to create a sizable gap between his car and the car in front of him. In a pinch, I’ll whip in front of that guy.

I know my behavior is despicable, but for some reason, I can’t stop.

Who else would you add to The Worst People in the World list?

If you’re brave enough to admit it, what qualifies you to be on this list?

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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

addvodka May 30, 2012 at 9:39 AM

Hahahaha! LOVE this! I agree with ALL of them (especially toilet seat, merging, and pit bull one). The pit bull guy always goes "It's ok, she's friendly!" when I pick up my dog when I see them coming.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:42 PM

Isn't that stupid? Like we're supposed to know the bite habits of a strange dog.

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MakingSenseofCents May 30, 2012 at 9:58 AM

I have a big dog (pit bull/boxer mix), and I would never walk her without a leash! She would never bite, but she is so big that she could definitely knock someone out.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:44 PM

See, walking your dog with a leash, that's the considerate thing to do.

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Maria May 30, 2012 at 11:19 AM

I guess almost everyone is guilty of one of those things and really hates one of them. For me, I'm guilty of sometimes smoking in a parking garage… Yes I know I'm sorry world. I saw a pitbull at a dog park attack a tiny chihuahua, I got so upset that the owner did not have his dog on a leash!

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:48 PM

Shame on you for smoking in the garage, Maria. :) Of course, I'm no one to judge.

I really don't understand people who don't leash their dog. It's like they have no concern for the safety of other animals (human and non-human). Plus, do they give no thought to the fact they've increased their dog's odds of getting lost or worse, getting hit by a car? Argh!

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Toy Lady May 30, 2012 at 12:15 PM

Ohmigosh I HATE pee-pee girl!

One day I marched back down the hall to my office, got a post-it, and wrote a note and stuck it on the seat "no one wants to sit in this —>"

Haven't had much of a problem since.

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:49 PM

Nice. Never thought to leave a note chastising the culprit.

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shopping2saving May 30, 2012 at 1:58 PM

Hahaha this was crazy!!! I can totally relate… I get so irritated with the slow drivers that are trying to merge in. You came onto the freeway…you're not on the backroads anymore.. SPEED UP! They come in going at 20mph and you have to slow down from 60 mph just because they are so slow, but they have nowhere else to go but into your lane.. Sigh.

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:53 PM

Oh! This reminds me of when you want to make a left turn, but the driver perpendicular to you is going too fast for you to pull out in from of them, but slow enough to make you insane.

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shopping2saving May 30, 2012 at 1:59 PM

Also the people that cut you off when there is no one behind you… like really?? You couldn't have waited 5 seconds?? Especially if they had no reason to cut you off at that moment, because they weren't even turning at the next light. OMG!
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:56 PM

They get on my nerves too. Too often, I'll have someone driving directly behind me change lanes to get in front of me. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem when you cut a foot in front of me for no reason. Gimme some space, please. Sheesh.

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bogofdebt May 30, 2012 at 2:56 PM

I love the people who don't see the fact that their light is still RED and has been for a while. And yes, I know "turn on red" is usually legal but I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply when I'm ALREADY IN THE INTERSECTION. And when I yell out my open window that it's called a red light for a reason, don't giggle and go "oops". At least don't do it loud enough that I can hear it.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:58 PM

LOL! "Oops" means "I'm perfectly aware that I'm an arsehole, but I'm willing to draw the ire of my fellow drivers for a few seconds in order to shave a minuscule amount of time off of my commute."

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fugalportland May 30, 2012 at 4:40 PM

I'm guilty of: cutting people off when I'm following someone and I don't know where I'm going. I loathe: people who feel entitled to x just because they're driving a Mercedes.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 4:59 PM

It seems people driving the low end luxury vehicles feel the most entitled. Strange.

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Untemplater May 31, 2012 at 2:54 AM

I don't get the women who leave pee on the seat either, yuk. What I don't like way more though are people who are just downright mean and say and do bad things to other people for no reason at all. Karma will catch up to them though.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:04 PM

I've been encountering more mean people lately. I think it's because I'm exposed to so many more different types of people now that I don't work in an office every day. A few weeks ago, one woman was really salty with me for a minor infraction I wasn't even aware I'd committed. I'm hoping that I'll refrain from cussing her out if I see her again. Gotta act like a lady.

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Allyn May 31, 2012 at 9:29 AM

I have a pit. I walk him on a leash, faithfully, everytime we leave the house. My gripe is the people who have those little yip-yap dogs (those high-strung little lap dogs) who don't put them on a leash. About once every week, I'll be walking my dog and a little yip-yap dog will come barrelling toward us with his hackles up, barking furiously while his owner hollers at him as she chases after him. My dog wasn't paying that dog the least bit of notice until he started his charge across the field toward us. For #4, lets just say that applies to *all* dog owners who don't walk their dog on a leash, regardless of the breed.

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:05 PM

I concur. Everybody, leash your dog. In most places it's the law, and almost every unleashed dog is super annoying.

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Allyn May 31, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Just as an fyi, according to the American Kennel Club, 22 different breeds of dogs have been mistakenly identified as pits, so the dog you *think* is a pit may very well not be. If you have a dog of any breed — pure or mixed — put a leash on it.

And if you hover, wipe the seat even if you don't see anything on it. Better yet, use a seat cover and sit your butt down.

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:06 PM

"And if you hover, wipe the seat even if you don't see anything on it. Better yet, use a seat cover and sit your butt down."

Amen!

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Alyssa June 3, 2012 at 11:50 PM

Allyn, thank you for clarifying the breed confusion with pits. There's lots of misinformation out there about them. I propose Shawanda edits her post to say all breeds, cause I see ratty ass dogs off leash all the time and they come running up to mine. It's very, VERY annoying.

And the pee seat thing is sooooo annoying!

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Virginia June 1, 2012 at 10:25 AM

I hate going to an event (like basketball or a concert) where there is an entrance and an exit for the restroom, everyone will be standing in one line, and then a woman decides that she is going to start a new line at the other exit. It is rare but it happened to me just last week. You know everyone is standing in one. Don't start a new line. What's worse, once one numbskull does it, there is always another and soon my wait for the restroom doubles.

Just found your blog and subscribed. I love your writing style!

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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:08 PM

This happens a lot in retail store lines too. I hate when the cashiers condone this behavior. You start griping about it and then their like, "No, there are two lines." Then why didn't you say that when you saw one line form, stupid?

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Charlotte June 2, 2012 at 11:39 AM

I agree with all of them too. And I too do the last minute merge. I am getting better because it drives my husband crazy. The other thing I hate is the driver that leaves their blinker on FOREVER! You don't know what they're going to do, stay or change lanes.
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:09 PM

Hehehe. Glad I have company.

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femmefrugality June 2, 2012 at 4:31 PM

You made me so happy! I hate all of this. In my younger days I stuck gum under tables. No more, though, no more. I am repentant!
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Shawanda June 3, 2012 at 5:11 PM

I'm happy you're redeemed. :)

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Romeo June 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM

I'd have to add any and all persons that flick cigarettes out of their vehicle and onto the street. I want to punch every last one of them.
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Shawanda June 5, 2012 at 11:12 PM

I hear ya. Cigarettes are small, but tossing them on the ground is still littering!
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day trading April 23, 2014 at 12:47 PM

I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog?
Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so
people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 images.
Maybe you could space it out better?
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